The Gift I Treasure Most is My Pop
Father’s day is a tough time of year for me and for all of us who have lost their fathers to time, illness, or tragedy. It doesn’t matter whether it has been days, weeks, months or years, the pain of losing a father will pinch a son or daughter’s heart for a lifetime.
There are no magic words that can be uttered or written to lessen the pain. My advice, give yourself a break and if you feel the pain of losing your your father to be overwhelming on Father’s Day, cry your heart out and give your soul a release.
Once that is done, take a moment and think of the all your beautiful childhood memories, think of how much he loved you, think about his warm hugs, think of how he cared for you, think how he worried about you when you were off just being a kid, think of how he sat up all night with you when you were hurt and was ready in a moments notice to rush you to the hospital.
Take a moment and remember how you could be so worried about something knowing that doom was eminent and you could hear his voice, and see in his eyes that it will be okay, you had him to count on. Know you can take comfort in knowing that he is still with you, still caring and still loving because he will always be nestled in your heart.
To my pop, I keep thinking about you even though it hurts so much sometimes. I’d give anything to relive some of our times. To make just one more phone call just to say “hi”.
To my pop, I never knew that being fatherless would make me feel at times so aimless, powerless, and helpless.
To my pop, it hurts to think that you are not here anymore. Although I can’t help but smile and know that you are when I do or think something and I know I learnt that from you, which is daily.
To my pop, thank you for being in mind’s eye when I look to the sky for strength, guidance or just to tell you I miss you. As you always have, you make me feel better knowing you are always there.
To my pop, I just want you to know that no matter how much we may have disagreed, and I knew you were wrong, it turns out you were right. In my heart I always knew it.
To my pop, from the time you showed me how to throw a ball of every kind, how to golf, how to be a businessman, how to be a better person, and how to be who I am, know I still hold those lessons in my heart. They are a continuous reminder to myself I mattered to you.
To my pop, I wish I just had one last chance, I wish I could get a hug from you. I wish I could see those penetrating green eyes that showed strength and vulnerability all in the same look, just one more time.
To my pop, you taught me to be strong, you showed me to be better than who I am. I am sorry if I do anything that lets you down. I know can never be strong enough to be the person you were.
To my pop, death thinks it has taken you away from me. But it doesn’t know that it has actually brought us closer than ever. I never miss a day to think about you, nor to look up to you to say hi or ask advice.
To my pop, you may not be here in life but you will always be in my heart and in my thoughts. Through my life you always showered me with love and care. You pushed to me to live up to my potential. You never made excuses in life so you challenged me not to as well. You always had faith that I had the ability to do anything that I set my mind to, even if I did not have a clue what I was doing. But, just knowing that you thought I could do it, made me try. I pushed harder, worked smarter, tried more and achieved success that far exceeded my abilities, just because you believed in me.
Pop, every Father’s Day is a painful reminder of your physical absence in my life. I wish I could turn back time, and have one more day just to tell you all the things that I never got around to telling you. The one thing I do know is that you knew that I loved you and I guess that is enough, since knowing you loved me is more than enough for me. Pop, I do miss you.
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