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Omdahl: A Little Bit of Sunshine for North Dakota?

By Staff | Feb 12, 2016

Cheer up, North Dakota. It is now February and we can see thaw at the end of the tundra. However, we still need some uplifting billboards to fight Seasonal Affective Disorder. It will be sad if we have to depend on Vitamin C alone.

In the Red River Valley, a couple of blank but bold yellow boards would help. Western North Dakota gets twice as much sunshine, so the billboards between Dickinson and Williston would require written messages.

Possibilities include upbeat memos such as “It Could Be Worse” and “Earth Warming Is Coming.” For the multi-taskers: “Smile as You Drive”?

If your IQ is below 80, forget about smiling and stay focused on the road. They’re watching for distracted driving these days.

Donald Trump carried his mother’s Bible the last three days of the Iowa campaign. He picked it up at a pawn shop in Des Moines. He didn’t take it to New Hampshire because there aren’t that many Christians in New England.

Rumor on the street is that his campaign manager fired the Bible through a window of the Second Baptist Church in Cedar Rapids as they were leaving town. So much for that campaign prop.

If North Dakota Republicans are smart, they will stop construction of the new governor’s mansion. When they built the present residence in 1960, Democrats occupied it for the next 20 years.

It was big news when North Dakota moved up to 18th place in the number of millionaires. We now have 18,492 millionaires almost six percent of the population with 18,000 of them located between Belfield and Williston.

According to farm reports, 45,000 North Dakota farmers are in line for drones. The National Security Agency (NSA) has filed for a homestead north of Garrison. They claim they will use it only to fight the terror of Canadian thistle.

The universities are scandalizing higher education again. NDSU President Dean Bresciani spent $8,300 to fly business class to India. It is rumored that he wanted something with a kitchenette so he wouldn’t miss any meals.

UND has a $5 million deficit created by gambling on higher tuition. The University went for broke and made it. It is the consensus that the school ought to continue this gambling binge by sending President Ed Schafer to the Spirit Lake casino with what’s left of the petty cash fund.

Have you noticed that one-fourth of the television ads now consist of pharmaceutical companies diagnosing illnesses and prescribing medication? Just when the UND Med School is being expanded, the need for family practitioners is fading.

The deciders in Michigan have lead in their pipes. Other problem locations are being discussed.

If Donald Trump becomes president, how do you suppose he will interpret “one nation under god”?

With 65 percent of Americans unhappy with the government, why are we trying to export democracy to other countries? There are dictatorships in which more than 35 percent of the people are happy with the government.

In the U.S., happiness with government is political. When George Bush was president, the Democrats were unhappy. With Obama now president, the Republicans are unhappy. Maybe we need two presidents one from each party so more people will be happy.

Even though a number of North Dakota counties do not have dentists, the 2015 legislature declined to expand dental care with midlevel dental hygienists. Apparently, no one in the legislature had a toothache when the bill was considered.

North Dakota is part of the nationwide campaign to reduce prison populations by softening the penalties for crimes. Robbery soon will be known as an informal method for redistributing the wealth.

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