You there, put down the coffee/beer/soda/water or whatever it is you’re drinking at this given moment. Even better, drop whatever else is in your hand and pay attention. There’s an elephant in the room. We. Are. At. War.

Despite our country’s military muscle, and not to mention bases in various places around the world, the enemy is hard to see. But the enemy doesn’t pledge allegiance to North Korea, Iran, Syria, Russia, Germany, Iraq, England, or any other enemy past and present. The enemy also doesn’t worship Allah, Buddah, God, Satan or any other deity/religious figure. The enemy is insidious, it doesn’t always strike with a warning, and at times will occur when you least expect it or don’t want it to occur.

If that doesn’t seem clear to you, then maybe I should spell it out. Our enemy is the weather.

Look outside right now. There may be a few clouds in the sky, maybe some sun. There may not seem to be any signs of malfeasance yet, but we know better than to trust a cloud. Those clouds may be hiding a rain shower, a snowstorm, or even a freak blizzard. Heck, they might even hiding a thick fog, or a destructive hailstone or two.

Look outside again, at the trees this time. They’re moving, aren’t they? The wind may be moving the leaves at relatively inconsequential pace now, but just wait. At any moment the wind could be ripping roofs off, or even destroying, buildings and uprooting trees, all while moving at the top speed of an Italian-made sports car. (Some of those cars can exceed 200 mph.)

And don’t think for a minute that I’m not onto that thing we call the Sun. Even at a distance of 92,960,000 miles, the radiant energy from that big orange ball is heating up the earth’s surface and potentially burning flesh.

And there is nothing you, me, we can do to stop it. In fact, we are subservient to it, in a way. Some of the things we do, be it a job or even a recreational activity, whether or not they occur depends on the weather. Not to mention it can affect someone’s emotional state. (Seriously, there’s a mood disorder called SAD, or seasonal affective disorder in which people are depressed in either winter or summer, and yet are fine during the other seasons). It can even alter someone’s plan of getting from point A to point B. (Example: Unless you have an umbrella and a poncho, walking or biking from your house to Leevers maybe out of the question for you.)

All attempts to raise rampant paranoia aside, there is no true way to predict the weather. Even meteorologists don’t always see things coming, and in North Dakota that’s as true as it is in any place. That said, all newcomers welcome to North Dakota, where the winters last until April and the summers are as hot as hellfire, unless of course global warming, climate change or some shenanigans happen.