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Loose lips expose big slips

By Staff | Mar 19, 2010

Devils Lake Mayor: Just when you think things can’t get worse, they do.

Toyota’s Toyoda: Isn’t that the truth.

NDSU President Hanson: More than you will ever know.

Lutheran Bishop: Amen.

Partisan # 1: I see Vice President Cheney went to the hospital to prove he has a heart.

Partisan # 2: We’ll never know. The doctors have been sworn to secrecy.

Dean of Students: We’ve just got to get students to quit binge drinking.

Social Psychologist: Maybe it would help if we got the parents to quit first.

Driving Instructor: North Dakota has the happiest drivers ranked third in the driver misery index.

Law Enforcer: They ought to be happy high speed limit, low fines, kid drivers, wild texting and smooth ditches.

Chancellor: That tribal council at Fort Yates is sure stonewalling us on the Fighting Sioux nickname.

UND Alumnus: The reservation wasn’t named Standing Rock for nothing.

Political Reporter: Secretary of State Al Jaeger is running for re-election with a broken ankle.

Political Pundit # 1: It’s a ploy to get the sympathy vote.

Political Pundit # 2: He’s just proving that he can win with one foot behind his back.

Political Pundit # 1: The director of the Fort Lincoln Foundation is running for the U.S. Senate.

Historian:Deja vu the Little Big Horn all over again.

Birder: Boy, it’s quiet out here at South Heart. I don’t hear a single bird singing.

South Heartian: We have a noise ordinance. Couldn’t silence the noise from the bar without including the birds.

Flood Fighter: Every North Dakota government is hollering for federal flood aid and help from the Corps of Engineers.

Tea Partier: Yeah. Big government comes in handy once in a while. It’s disgusting.

Fiscal Watchdog: I see where Senator Conrad is on Barack’s new budget-balancing committee.

Skeptic: Yeah, he has a deck chair right next to the rail.

Fiscal Watchdog: At least he’s on board.

NDSU Extensionist: Did you see where North Dakota leads the nation in 12 crops barley, navy beans, pinto beans, canola, flax, honey, lentils, peas, nonoil and oil sunflowers, durum and spring wheat.

Fargo mayor: They forgot the thirteenth – sandbags.

Apologist: Sarah Palin said God wrote notes on His hand, too.

GOP Moderate: Hiding behind God won’t help. He’s not her kind of Republican.

Eastern Watchdog: North Dakota ranks 2nd per capita for earmarks? What do you say to that?

North Dakota Beneficiary: Oink! Oink!

Legislator: They’re initiating a measure requiring that legislators must read all bills before voting on them.

Critic: The problem isn’t reading it’s understanding.

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