Environmentalist: The earth is warming.

Skeptic: Then why was my heat bill higher in January?

Federal Reserve Chair Ben Bernanke: But I saved the economy from disaster.

Senator Ingrate: That was last year. What have you done for us this week?

Scientists for an Orderly World: The world is flat.

Red River Valley Farmer: No doubt about it.

President Obama: We’re going to have a 3-year freeze on spending.

Senator Pork: Then earmarks will get bigger than the budget.

Congressman Mike Pence (R-Ind): Republicans need to become more conservative.

Senator Barry Goldwater (at a Tea Party sance): Give it up! Nobody listens to that kind of stuff.

Sarah Palin: You wanna bet?

New Jersey Citizen: Are all of those crooks at the State Capitol going to jail?

Prosecutor: No, only the ones we catch.

ND Lottery Promoter: We need to make more money with the lottery.

2nd Lottery Promoter: You mean subcontract the whole thing to the Standing Rock Reservation?

Proud Greenie: The production of wind power increased 39 per cent last year.

Critical Spirit: It would have gone up more if they would have built closer to Bismarck.

Troubled Senior: The world is moving too fast these days.

Toyota Dealer: I couldn’t agree more.

President Barack Obama: Yes, we can.

Republican Response: No, we won’t.

California Budget Hawk: Let’s release prisoners to balance the budget.

2nd Budget Hawk: That would be okay if we can put the burglars out on commission.

Senator Goodheart: We should double the child care tax credit.

Low-income Skeptic: What if you’re too poor to have a tax to be credited?

School Counselor: We should not teach sex education in schools.

2nd Counselor: I agree. The best people not to tell kids about sex is parents.

Environmentalist: That Ted Turner wants to buy all of the buffalo in the Yellowstone Park.

Treasury Secretary Geithner: Next thing we know, he’s going to have a buffalo ranch too big to fail. And what will the government do with buffalo? We already have more bull than we can handle.

Liberal: Cheer up! The Democrats could win the next election.

Conservative: They already did but don’t know what to do about it.

Immigration Critic: We need to keep all of those undesirable immigrants out of the country.

Native-American: We were a little late on that one ourselves.

Dickinson City Commissioner: Dickinson needs to go on Central time.

Skeptic: Bad idea! More sun will just cause more cancer.

Omdahl is a UND professor emeritus in political science and a former lieutenant governor of North Dakota.